How do you feel about failure? Most people have been bombarded with messages like “You can do it!” and “Don’t give up!” But here’s the thing—sometimes I choose to accept failure.

I was working on a painting this week. I didn’t start with a fully formed vision, but I was eager to dive in. About halfway through, though, I started feeling less than thrilled with it. Sure, it had the basics: solid composition, good values (that perfect balance of light and dark). But it didn’t make me smile. It felt… well, a bit ordinary. Like something you could see anywhere.

So, I finished it. Yep, sometimes you just have to push through to the end. But deep down, I knew something was missing. It wasn’t bringing me joy.

The next morning, I walked into the studio and saw it sitting there like a sad, tired sofa in the corner. It just wasn’t inspiring. I found myself doing anything I could to avoid looking at it—staring out the window, flipping through old sketches. But I knew. I knew it wasn’t making the cut. I had failed.

Now, before you jump in with a pep talk… hear me out. I’ve spent years learning how to recognize when a painting isn’t working. I used to fight hard against labeling anything a failure. I’d try to save it, find excuses, and rationalize why it wasn’t quite what I envisioned. But that just led to a bunch of artwork I wasn’t in love with piling up in my studio. Friends and family would come by and say things like, “The yellow tulips are beautiful!” or “How can you say this painting isn’t good?” But deep down, I always knew the truth.

And here’s the thing: That’s just not enough for me anymore. I want to walk into a room, see one of my paintings, and feel a sense of joy. I don’t want to cringe at the little details or look away from areas I’m not happy with. I want to smile, feel at peace, and breathe a sigh of joy when I see my work.

So, I’ve learned to give myself permission to fail. I let go of what others consider perfectly good paintings. I allow myself to paint them again—or not. And let me tell you, it’s one of the best practices. Sure, it’s still tough at times, but when I walk into a gallery and see a little painting, head over to check it out, laugh cause it’s mine and I didn’t realize it…that’s why I choose to fail.

That painting I was working on this week, I painted it again. I zoomed in on the composition, changed up the colors, and approached it with a fresh mindset. When I finished, I walked away. But when I came back to the studio, I smiled. And I’m actually glad I failed the first time. The second go was much better.

It’s been empowering for me to learn it’s ok to fail. I will leave you with this saying by Henry Ford…

And as my mom alway said..

“If you don’t at first succeed, try, try again.”

What do you find hard to fail at?

Or why is it difficult for you to accept when something isn't working?

I'd love to hear how you manage to let go and try again in the comments below.